A new project I haven't really talked about yet. Unrelated to the blog post, but I wanted to show it off!
I know what you're thinking.
He has a blog? He's still writing this thing?
Yeah, I know. It seems like every 4-6-12 months I come out with a new blog post that ends with "I'm going to keep writing, I promise!"
Then 4-6-12 months pass and no blog post.
So I won't be doing that this time. I'll just keep writing..whenever. And hopefully people read it and enjoy.
And to whoever has still been reading my stuff, I wanted to give an update on everything that's been happening. Cause it's been a lot since my last couple of posts.
So bear with me as I go all over the place.
It's funny - when I think back at some of my past posts, it's a mix of what I'm learning, what I'm doing, and what I'm thinking as I'm doing it all. I also think:
"Wow, that guy had a lot of free time"
and also
"I like the way this guy thinks!"
It occurs to me that I haven't been as thoughtful when it comes to my illustration and maybe I need to be a little more thoughtful (or mindful, as is popular, these days) about how and what I do.
But in all honesty, my work has required a little less thought than before and I've been a little on autopilot, which is a weird place to be in. Mostly because I never thought I'd be in a place where I'd be "on autopilot." And I'll get to what 'autopilot' means in a second.
See, the weird thing is that part of me still sees myself as an "aspiring illustrator," someone who's "not there yet" but the problem with that mindset is that:
1) it's pretty inaccurate and
2) when it comes to some of these creative fields (illustration, writing, acting etc), it's hard to break down what it means to be a professional.
What does it mean to be a professional creative?
One might say, "you're a professional when you pay your rent via your creative endeavor" but that seems arbitrary, especially because I've specifically chosen to NOT do that. And, knowing so many actors, dancers, etc, I don't believe getting paid enough for bills and rent is a requirement for being considered an actor or dancer. Some people are actors or dancers, but they're also bartenders, and they also have day jobs. That doesn't take away from their identity as creatives.
Specifically in my case, illustration does not pay well and I don't want to charge exorbitant amounts because (I should've warned readers, lots of numbered points in this blog post):
1) I'll likely not get paid for it and
2) the people that I create art for are often other artists and creatives and I'd just rather not drop an opportunity to work with another artist because the cost on one side was too much (or too little). I really like working with artists and don't want to ruin my opportunities to collaborate with people.
So if it's not money, what makes one an illustrator?
In my head, it's the fact that I am *creating illustrations* for others. And that they live outside of me. I think that's the major difference between me being an 'illustrator' and me being 'an artist' (that's a whole other topic).
And with this definition, I've been an illustrator for a while.
Looking back to what I've done, especially since my last update, I think I can consider myself an illustrator. Here's a short list (not numbered, I have some humility):
- I've continued to create covers for a self-published author.
- I finished that children's book I was covering in my last set of updates.
- I collaborated with an artist to create a poetry-inspired published chapbook (didn't get paid for this, but people bought our book, which was even more validating).
- I created art for an NY hip-hop artist.
- I created a poster for a short film
- I just finished a large storyboard-esque sequential storytelling piece (that's the cover art for this blog post)
And I might be missing some other things (along with personal work)
So what's this autopilot thing I'm talking about?
Well, I feel like (and I do mean feel) the past work I've been doing hasn't contributed much in terms of learning. And that's a bit weird for me.
When I first started writing the blog, nearly every image I created was new so of course I was learning a lot. But as I continued to create new images and get commissioned, I was able to lean on my past knowledge and create images based on that.
So, I haven't been learning as much as I want to. Which isn't a bad thing and should be somewhat expected. I've learned a lot since I created the blog and I still love a LOT the work I've done even if I'm not learning much from them.
And there is a benefit here. I'm much more confident than I used to be, which is comfortable. Which I guess is what makes me uneasy, in a paradoxical way. I have a bit of a problem with being comfortable and I miss that bit of exploration that came with my illustration work. I've lost a bit of that.
It's definitely my fault and my immediate scapegoat is that ever elusive 'time' thing people keep talking about. I just tell myself I have no time so I work on my illustrations 'on autopilot.'
The no time thing is partly true. Since my last update, I've moved twice (I think) and changed jobs twice as well (all for the better though!). I've also been busy with freelance work, outside of illustration, and I've found myself performing monthly in a comedy show in NYC, a sentence I didn't think I'd ever write. Plus other personal stuff, etc etc.
But still, there's always time to give myself for illustration, especially mindful illustration. So I think as I continue to finish up some commissioned projects, I'll look to this blog to see if there's anything else I can learn, either from the work I've done in the past, or some work I'll be creating in the future.
I do know that as I embark on new projects, whether personal or not, I'll try to keep an eye out for any new discoveries.
Thanks for reading.
